Server defined, the sky, and silence


I’m sitting here, after work, watching an acoustic duo play some song I’ve never heard, but I feel it deep in my bones, “Stop and smell  the flowers, you gotta rise, don’t be afraid to fly..,” like I’ve heard it 22 times.  My bartender/manager is making me concoctions to try.  It tastes like a mix between a pink starburst and a green apple jolly rancher.  It’s #@(&!% good! So is the music!

I realize tonight being a server is a job where the more you make someones night, the more you get paid.  I’m a happy factory paid according to production efficiency.


Dude, how cool is the sky?  It changes all the time.  It’s really far away, but still can be seen.  It goes on forever and has inspiring colors.  I dig the sky.

I attempted to have a silent day yesterday.  It relaxes you completely because you don’t do much.  You don’t read, write, play music, watch videos, talk, and try not to move more than you have to.  When you start to get restless, try to remain still for another 10 minutes.  By that time, your mind has drifted off and another half hour goes by.

Conflicts that were swept under the rug 5, 10, 15 years ago resurface and mostly are resolved, bringing a sprinkle of peace to your history and foundation.  The senses are heightened and your surroundings are more detailed and truly fascinating.

I made it from just before sunrise to about 5:00pm and started to lose my mind.  Steve was lying across the boat from me, reading an Anne Rice novel.  Whatever he was reading was moving through me like I could feel the gist of the text, even though I had no idea what he was reading.  It was not a good feeling, so I through in the towel. It turns out Steve was reading about a timeless vampire who, for the first time in his existence, learned he was afraid of something which he had never before believed in: the devil.

Although I had several epiphanies and was extremely relaxed the next day, I no longer believe it healthy to push oneself to a level of discomfort.  The next time I do something of this nature, I plan to stop as soon as I’m no longer enjoying it.

Find things that make you feel like a genius. Music, inspiration, hobbies, whatever.


Note to self on comfort

The size of my world depends on my mood. Being grateful makes my home (the boat) seem more spacious, because I feel that I have enough. I’m not wanting.


Don’t want. Have and be happy you do.


Excerpt from Cat’s Cradle by K. V.