Right now I have to write. It´s one of those restless moods (maybe becaue I only slept a few hours ) in which I can´t decide which of the 22 ¨immediately necessary¨ tasks I will undertake. I want to book a night-tour of Mombacho Volcano before it leaves in 3 hours. Before that is grocery shopping, lunch, exercise, a nap, reading (definitely putting this one off), and many more seemingly important options. The nap is by far the most important, but here I am writing. I just saw a shadow of an opportunity to capture the essence of this not-so-rare mood.
It is very annoying when a person (currently myself) walks around aimlessly, making pointless shoot-the-breeze conversation with anyone who will remain in earshot. I will not try to target which facet of human condition is responsible. The only curiosity is whether a unique reader will be perplexed because he/she is immune or can control this temporary disposition. Writing proves helpful as I just let out a ¨Granada sigh.¨
Let´s see what is actually on the critical path. Buying food for tomorrow and small padlocks will make me money. After clean up and pushups, I can walk to the mercado and grocery story, cut back through tourist central to book the tour, and make it back for a 1-hour nap. All else will have to wait. For now, I must FOCUS.
(I did not book the tour. After another hour of procrastination, I did the logical thing – laid in a hammock and studied the bamboo roof insulation.)
The beer is always ice cold. I cannot stress this enough. Sometimes I have to give back the bottle because there is ice preventing the flow. Never have I seen a culture, country, or even a bar outside of Nicaragua with beer consistently this cold. (One gig I played in Atlanta had ice on the base of the taps, but for cans and bottles –especially for an energy $$ conscious society (they turn the fridges off at night)– no one has come close. I will miss this.
Just read a quote: ¨If you stay in Nicaragua for one day, you´ll never come back. If you stay for a week, you´ll never leave.¨
So true. It isn´t just Nicaragua, though. The human condition includes some instinct to ground itself and develope it´s empire. One person will wander (through jungle or civilization) until resources are discovered (emotional, nutritional, sexual, habitational) and then it wishes to stay. The urge to stay grows until enough time has passed and other tasks diminish in importance. Then the person´s primary goal is to strive for comfort. And then more comfort. Learning new information about the outside world is eclipsed by solving internal problems.
This is an observation, not a judgement. If I can internalize the admittance of differential behaviorial influences, it will not seem so crazy when a person is a homebody or vegabond. As I´ve said many times (the idea originally proposed by my brother), ¨people act rationally¨. The human mind works the same in 99% of the population and given the same information, we would all make the same decision. But no two people have the same information. To say you know best of anyone with an adult mind besides yourself is immoral. Using control to ¨help¨ someone to create a ¨better¨ life for themselves is the biggest scam in the history of false philanthropy and is one of the purest forms of evil I´ve encountered.
My very limited knowledge of Nicaraguan history is growing and I am wowed by it. Just take a few minutes and read a little about Giocondi Belli, William Walker, Sandinistas, or wiki the Nicaraguan Revolution. If you can take the time to put yourself in the moment about whence the literature was written, you will also say, ¨Whoa.¨
An email to my brother:
dude, I really do not want to be in a hurry. I am going to leave this hostel soon and make my way to El Salvador, but I am not 100% sure I will take that flight at this moment. It is only $100.
I dont think we should rely on eachother to make plans either. Dependence leads to compromise which leads to discomfort, etc.
The boat trip is kind of a big commitment. Which way are you planning on going, Mexico or islands?
It sounds like you still gotta work out some stuff internally, but thats just a far-off observation with very limited information. Maybe Asia would still be a good option. Didn’t you already buy a ticket? Let me know what you think. I just know from doing both that backpacking is far simpler and gives you many, many times more freedom to explore yourself.
I’m not saying I’m in or out yet, but I feel like I acted hastily when I bought that ticket. I gotta make sure I do it for me, otherwise we’ll both be uncomfortable. Is there anyone else going? Let me know when you need a definite answer, if that time has not already passed.
I’m gonna get a tattoo on my other foot that says in Spanish, ”Patience is the key to paradise” That’s what I learned here. So one says Hurry Up and the other says Slow Down
Hit me back, hermano.
It looks, at this juncture, that I am taking the flight from San Salvador to Miami to join on the boat trip to St. Thomas. As we all know, I am really bad at turning down opportunities. Like the messages of Big A´s senior quote (which was butchered in that horrible yearbook, which I think I was a part of) and my current mentor, Todd´s next tattoo: People are not remembered for what they didn´t do.
All I know is I am going north in a couple of days. How far is mostly up to the universe and all her crazy happenings. My favorite movie character of all time, Doc Holliday, said, ¨There’s no normal life, Wyatt, it’s just life. Get on with it.¨
Your way of writing keeps on inspiring me. I can only read one paragraph at a time, sometimes the words start flying around on front of my eyes senselessly, other day it's clear like my own story. I realize, its the only way to read your blog; shortcuts, moments, thoughts, it seems to me as if it doesnt really matter when or even where they have been written. Kind of like memories are, more like direct associations. It was from the beginning that your raw, unvarnished way of percieving life has had major impact on the way I think of other human beings, seeing that there are some that actually get stuff. 🙂 I am far from having read even all of 2013, but I am looking forward to the next.