This morning’s meditation

Every uninterrupted meditation ends in an answer to a question that’s been tangled in the strands of our experience.

This morning’s answer for me was: I thank you, I love you, I forgive you. I got to it when I started focusing on the little pump in my chest where many believe a chakra (energy intersection) exists.

I started out a simple country boy who thought the only benefits of meditating were comic release by entertainment icons like Ace Ventura in When Nature Calls.

It’s no surprise that these comedians are well versed on the subjects they mock. (If you haven’t watched Jim Carrey’s commencement speech from the Maharishi Institute of Management, it’s worth the 20 minutes.)

The benefits of meditation are subtle and not easily quantifiable. For someone high-strung like me, it’s important like stretching and calling old friends.

If you got this far, you might like the method. It changes each time because repetition loses benefit.

Sitting upright and comfortable (for me in contact with the ground), eyes closed for visualizing yourself from changing views, breathing deeply to initially relax.

After about a minute, I feel pretty chill and begin the meditation.

I stick out my tongue slightly (I would make a taco-tongue if I could) so that I can hear the inhale. This is important because the breathing is light and slow.

Ten seconds on the inhale (takes practice), 3 seconds of exhale. This causes the body to fully release tension every single breath.

After 10 breaths, begin focusing on the tip-top of the skull (crown). Think about the air slowly making its way from the mouth through and above the brain. Move your mind’s camera around to get a better view. Once your lungs (crown) are full, exhale and visualize the “air” flowing down your spine and into the ground.

After 10 breaths, move down to the next “chakra” and repeat for all 7. If you’ve never studied this stuff, Google images can help. Once you’re done, do another 10 or how ever many you want without thinking about anything. It feels pretty good at this point.

I brought the “air” from my mouth to the chakra and sent it to the ground until I began focusing on the heart. (Incidentally, this is where my lesson came to light.) From here, I sent it up and down my spine, like a “T” intersection. After the heart, I brought the “air” up from the ground and sent it up my spine, through the top of my head.

This may all sound like gibberish, and it should because it’s my experience.

“We do not seek to imitate the masters; rather we seek what they sought.” – Basho ( Japanese poet).

Bad Roommate(s) Bad Advice

Chicka-chicka-chicka-chicka-chicka. I hear scratching on the roof/deck… This is the third time. Tune to go check out what it is. It’s midnight:30.

I pop my head up and see the silhouette of a big fat New York rat. They get the size of cats in the Keys thanks to some exotic pet owner. Instead of scaring him with the paddle, he charges me. I jump up on the skinny gunwale in my boxers like a little school boy bitch. The rat is cornered in the black shadows of the cockpit, but unfortunately for me has David Copperfield skills and vanishes.

I wake up and listen. Great, he’s inside the boat. It sounds like he’s in the cereal box. I grab both boxes, closings the lids and duct tape them. Thirty seconds later I hear him in the motor well and shine his gleaming eyes with my cell phone.

It’s 4:30am now. Going back to sleep is not an option so I quietly scurry out the companionway to scoot down to the nearest grocery store. Four hours later I locate a rat trap.

The next day we find the rat trap set off and the cheese is gone, but no rat.

Three days later Steve dreams someone is combing his hair and wakes up with a large rodent collecting his long, golden hair for nesting material. Steve flings the double pounder into the salon with the back of his panicked hand. Steve is on board for rat elimination.

The next morning Steve wakes up with the rat between his legs. We declare war and oust the oversized mouse in a matter of hours. It’s sad to lose such a worthy adversary. Boat fires are common from chewed up wires and gas lines. It was us or him.